


Cataclysm Universe: The Chaos Chronicles

by masterdia



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon), Warhammer 40.000
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, Other, Sex, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-30
Updated: 2015-10-29
Packaged: 2018-04-11 23:53:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4457318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/masterdia/pseuds/masterdia
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Corrupted by the power of Chaos, Steven Universe wages sexual warfare against God, mankind, and Gems everywhere. Can the Crystal Gems bring him back to his old self, or will Chaos claim another universe?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. It's a Wankerful Life

It all began with a dream.

Steven found himself floating in a labyrinth of penises. All around him were penises of every shape, size, and color that the human body is capable of producing and many that it wasn't. The walls and ceiling were made entirely out of slowly wiggling dicks that writhed back and forth frantically when he stared at them. The floor, however, was a nice lavender carpet. It reminded Steven of raspberry sherbet.

Without quite knowing why, Steven found himself floating deeper into the labyrinth, as if drawn by some invisible force. The stale air soon became permeated with a horrible, pervasive odor. He'd never smelled anything this bad before, not even when Lion had eaten too much chipotle and blasted corrosive diarrhea on his favorite shirt. It was like the fermented dickcheese of a thousand virgins, collected and stewed for several millennia. Tears filled Steven's eyes, and he clenched his nose in his fist to protect himself from the olfactory assault. But breathing through his mouth proved even worse, as instead of smelling the godless stench, he could taste the horrid, leprous loins of unshriven virgins thrusting in his mouth. Steven gagged and vomited all over the fucking carpet.

"What is this place? Why am I here?" he sobbed, choking down the acrid taste of bile and erections.

"This is the dominion of Lord Slaanesh," a husky voice whispered in his ear.

Steven laughed shakily. For a minute there, he had begun to doubt this was just a dream. Now he was sure of it. Otherwise, there was no way he could be hearing the voice of his dead mother.

"Nothing is impossible within the Warp, my beautiful boy. You've grown so much since I last saw you. Let me see your face."

Steven sniffed and slowly turned around, sure that this was all just a nightmare. But what awaited him was not a monster. It was a warm, radiant smile, one that made his chest swell and tears stream down his face all over again.

"Mom." 

"Welcome home, Steven," said Rose Quartz, her luxurious pink tresses flowing in the penis-scented breeze. For some reason, only her head was visible, but Steven didn't really care. Who expects a dream to make sense?

"I miss you, Mom," he said, wrapping his arms around her head and pulling it into a tight hug.

Her voice was somewhat muffled by his manboobs, but Steven hung on every word. "I miss you too, honey. But I have something important to tell you. Lord Slaanesh has a gift for you. Accept it and all your dreams will be made into reality." 

"Who's Lord Slaanesh, Mom?"

"He is the Prince of Pleasure, the great God who watches over all Gems. Hallowed be his name, blessed be his nature. He sent me to tell you that he senses great potential within you, and would bequeath you the gift of a fraction of his powers. It is an honor above any other to be chosen as his instrument."

"Sure Mom, that sounds cool. Can we get some ice cream after this?"

"Of course. Give Mama a kiss first, honey."

"Okay." Steven raised her disembodied head to eye level and planted a wet smooch on her cheek. Rose chuckled. 

"Oh, not like that, honey. Mama needs you to PUCKER UP, FUCKO!" Rose Quartz's pupils narrowed to slits as her tongue extended an impossible distance from her mouth and bound itself tightly around his neck, swelling in size and morphing into a hideously long, slimy cock. 

Steven screamed and thrashed helplessly, unable to break free. Cackling, his mother rammed her tonguedick into his mouth, choking off his cries. The disgusting appendage felt ice-cold as it slithered down his esophagus. Bile rose in his throat and Steven vomited again, blowing chunks all over her face. To his horror, a second tongue protruded from her mouth and licked it off. Looking him right in the eyes, she winked lasviciously.

"This is only the beginning, Steven! Hail, Lord Slaanesh! Hail, Lord Slaanesh! Hail, Lord Slaanesh!"

Steven's eyes widened in horror at the sight of a massive lump traveling down the length of her dicktongue. The sickening bulk forced his mouth wide open, squeezing down his throat and into his stomach. Searing heat burst forth in his belly, followed shortly by shockwaves of pain so excruciating that he fell as limp as a rag doll. Lights flashed in Steven's vision and the world faded to black.

He awoke to the sounds of Amethyst putting things in her ass.

"Amethyst, are you putting my rock collection in your ass again? I asked you not to do that!"

"Of course not!" Amethyst yelled as she shoved Steven's rock collection up her ass for the third time that week.

Steven grumbled half-heartedly and slid out of bed, too upset by his nightmare to confront the Gem about her anal fixation. It had all seemed so real. The penises, the smell, his mom, the penises, everything about it had felt like it was really happening. Shaking his head, he repeated the mantra of "It was only a dream. It was only a dream. It was only a dream," under his breath and began to get dressed.

"Steven, breakfast is ready!" Pearl called from downstairs.

"Be right there!" Noticing a growing pressure in his bladder, he added, "I've gotta go to the bathroom!"

"'Kay! Don't take too long, or your pancakes will be cold!"

"I won't!"

As Steven rushed into the restroom, he found himself thinking a very uncouth thought. _Fuck your fucking pancakes you needle-nosed homosexual._

A vision flashed through his mind of Pearl wearing lacy underwear like they showed in television commercials. Her eyes were half-lidded and her lips were agape in a breathy moan. Steven swallowed hard. Something seemed to be wrong with his private parts. His pants felt way too tight, like they were blocking off the circulation. The constriction was becoming more painful by the second. And yet... it felt good, somehow. The more he thought about Pearl in lingerie, the stronger the sensation became and the tighter his pants grew. 

How long he stayed in this reverie, his eyelids heavy and his mind clouded by lust, Steven could never say. It could have been hours or mere seconds. Yet all good things must come to an end. As he fantasized about Pearl covered in vegetable oil, Steven's hand unintentionally brushed against the bulge in his pants. An electric shock pulsed through his body, and in one powerful motion, his cock unfurled completely, splitting his pants at the seams as it burst through the fabric.

Steven trembled in fear. Something was horribly wrong. His wangus hadn't been this big yesterday. Before now, it had been an average penis, nothing special. Now it was nearly sixteen inches in length and glowing a vivid neon pink, standing upright like a fleshy obelisk. 

"Lord Slaanesh welcomes you, Steven," the penis whispered, chuckling raspily.

"Wh-who are you? What have you done to my wiener?" Steven spluttered, gripping his cock indignantly. 

"I am Azazel, a lesser Daemon of Slaanesh. I am here to trigger your metamorphosis, Steven. Lord Slaanesh has given you a great boon. You will be given a power unlike any other. You will become the savior of this world. All of your dreams are within your grasp!"

Sweat began to pour down Steven's forehead. Glancing around to make sure Amethyst wasn't spying on him, he hastily slammed the bathroom door shut with a bang. Bending down, he whispered in a conspiratorial voice, "All of them?"

His urethra widened into a smile. "All of them, Steven."

"Even the one with Pearl in her underwear? And sweaty? And the vegetable oil? And, and--kissing my dingledangle?"

A low gurgling noise emanated from Azazel's core. After a moment of bafflement, Steven realized that it was purring. "Especially that one."

Steven trembled. Pearl! Kissing his dingdongdillyhoo! The mere thought of it made his body feel as hot as a volcano. His chest felt so tight he could hardly breathe. His mouth was so dry that he had difficulty even forming words. Eventually, he managed to gasp out a single question.

"What do I have to do?"

"Stroke me, Steven. Stroke me, and it will all be yours."

Steven grabbed his neon pink cock in his meaty fists and fervently rubbed it up and down. Globules of precum oozed from the tip of his one-eyed serpent as visions of Pearl rubbing a cantaloupe on her boobies danced in his mind. His eyelids fluttered as he felt an immense pressure build up inside his cock. It was unlike anything he'd ever felt before. It felt even better than fusion!

"Oh, oh, oh my goodness! Azazel, I've never felt this good before! What's happening?" 

"You've never experienced this before? My boy, this is life's greatest pleasure! Currently, you are fucking yourself!"

"Fucking? This is what that word means?" Steven asked as he jerked his cock at a frenzied pace.

"Absolutely!"

"This is amazing! Can other people do this too?"

"Everyone can! They can even do it together! Fucking happens all around you, Steven! It's how you were born!"

"Mom, Dad, holy fuck! That explains so much!" An idea occurred to Steven and his jaw dropped at the implications. "Does this mean that I could--I could do a fuck with Pearl? And Garnet? And Amethyst?"

"You can do a fuck with anyone, Steven!"

Those words were all that was needed to push the boy over the edge. Thoughts of his dick in and around the Crystal Gems drove him to jack off at hypersonic speed. A mighty orgasm rumbled through his body and soul, sending wave after wave of gooey cum blasting out of his cock. Panting, Steven watched in astonishment as his already monstrous cock swelled another few inches in size and glowed even brighter than before. His awestruck expression slowly shifted to one of absolute joy.

"Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl. We are gonna do SO MANY FUCKS!"

A timid knocking interrupted his furious masturbation. "Steven, are you ok in there?" asked Amethyst.

"Yeah, I'm fine!" Steven said, pumping his cock faster than ever. A second orgasm overcame him, plunging him into a world of absolute, feverish pleasure. Ropes of cum covered the entire bathroom and more were being produced by the second as he continued the cock-wanking extravaganza. With each orgasm his cock grew larger, brighter, and hotter to touch. The orgasms intensified as well. By the fifth one, he could no longer restrain the primal howls that erupted from his mouth.

"Steven, what is going on in there? Open this door right now!" It was Pearl's voice this time, and Steven shuddered in ecstasy at the thought of her walking in on this scene. It was enough to fuel his seventh orgasm, the most powerful one yet. At this point, his cock was longer than he was tall and glowed like a miniature sun. His ejaculation was powerful enough to puncture holes in the walls, and the vast quantities of residual cum had coalesced into a pool of spooge on the floor that reached up to his knees.

"Just a minute!" Steven shouted, knowing it would take much longer than a minute for him to stop. In fact, he didn't want to ever stop. The orgasms flew past, faster and faster. By his twelfth climax, his cock was raw, bleeding, and his urethra was brushing the ceiling. The light cast by his shimmering wangus was intense enough to cause steam to rise from the swamp of cum which now reached up to his chest. 

"Steven! I'm going to break the door. Stand back!" Garnet's cool voice cut through Steven's manic screams of ecstasy. 

"Wait, hold on! I'm almost done!" Steven groaned, feeling the telltale pressure of his twenty-fourth orgasm oncoming. 

"We're coming in now!" A blow crashed against the door, nearly breaking it off its hinges. A warning strike from Garnet, no doubt. But Steven wasn't ready to stop just yet. With wild, unrestrained strokes that tore chunks of flesh from his weeping cock, he urged himself onward. His cock, now large enough to penetrate the ceiling and stretch into the attic, shone with the light of a red giant. The cum around him boiled and bubbled in an eerie cacophony, egging him on.

He thought of Garnet's lips. He thought of Amethyst's incredible ass. He thought of Pearl, rubbing cantaloupe on her boobies. It was too much for him and he climaxed once again. A geyser of semen spurted from his dick, blowing the house's roof off with its unbridled force. His cock pulsed like a whale's heart, sending echoes throughout the building. Steven stood stock-still, a dreamy smile on his face as he lost himself in the throes of pleasure.

And then his cock exploded.

The shockwave ripped the building apart with the force of a hydrogen bomb, reducing the Gems' beloved home to rubble in a single hellish moment of heat, force, fury and semen. Those who witnessed the explosion from a distance were mesmerized by its beauty, their hearts frozen in fear and their buttholes tingling. Those unfortunate enough to be caught in the aftershocks of the blast would never live to describe its wonders, for their bodies were evaporated instantly and their souls doomed to wander in Chaos for all eternity.

At ground zero of Steven's final climax, three forms stirred under the rubble. Extricating themselves from the wreckage of their home, the Crystal Gems found themselves mere inches from the mangled form of Steven Universe. Completely naked, missing a cock, and covered from head to foot in blood, sweat and his own sperm, the boy looked nothing short of a hallucination from Hell itself.

"Hi guys! Guess what? Today I learned how to do a fuck!" Steven giggled before collapsing face-first into the rubble at their feet.

Thus began the greatest tragedy that has ever visited this world.


	2. The Good, the Bad, and the Cucked

A week had passed since Steven's dick exploded. The catastrophic eruption of unstable sexual energy had completely obliterated all signs of human life within a five mile radius, along with every single one of Pearl's fucking cantaloupes. All that remained of Beach City was a chaotic and twisted wasteland, scarcely fit for human habitation. The fortunate few who had been far enough away to escape annihilation had returned home to find their families and dreams reduced to ashes, drifting on the wind and smelling faintly of semen.

At ground zero, where the blast was most concentrated, the incredible sexual energy had ripped through the very fabric of reality, opening a portal to the twisted domain of Chaos known as the Warp. Only through hasty action by the Crystal Gems was the portal sealed away in time to prevent the entire planet from being overrun by the fuckling hordes of Slaanesh and his fellow Chaos Gods. However, their valor had cost them dearly. Lion, their trusted companion, had been sucked inside the portal as it was sealed, dooming the unfortunate feline to untold aeons of being a spitroasted fuckslave for sex-starved daemons.

As for Steven Universe, the lustful child whose frenzied masturbation had nearly brought about the apocalypse, he was currently grounded for life and locked inside a windowless room deep within the Crystal Temple, with only his mangled genitals for company.

Not that he really minded. Within moments of being locked in, Steven had discovered that the room housed one of Amethyst's porno caches, hidden behind a magical barrier in the fourth dimension. Normally, reaching such a treasure trove would have been far beyond his abilities, but ever since the incident Steven's powers had been on a completely different level. What had once been impossible was now a simple matter of cupping his balls and focusing his mind. And nothing focuses the mind like the promise of fourth-dimensional titties.

With a sound like shattering glass, a stack of cosmic porno magazines manifested on the mortal plane. Steven fell upon the illicit pornography like a vulture upon a corpse. His eyes locked on to the first blasphemous page, featuring godless creatures from the wells of the netherworld fornicating through space and time. There were no pictures; rather, images were communicated directly into his mind via the solemn chanting of ancient spells, uttered by the unholy tongues of virginal necromancers as their putrescent dongs received blowjobs from shapely mechanical nuns whose sinful bodies were constructed entirely out of electric guitars.

Minutes turned into hours and hours stretched into days. Entranced by carnal pleasure, Steven scarcely noticed the passing of time. Each time Pearl slid his daily rations through a slot in the door he ignored her, completely enraptured by pictograms of non-Euclidean cocks. A regular human's body would have shut down after so long without food or drink, but having become a creature of Slaanesh, Steven no longer needed such trifling mortal sustenance. Instead, he was now nourished by a diet of pure, unfiltered lust. Every image, every sexual atrocity contained within Amethyst's pornos filled his entire body with a vile, hedonistic energy. He could have spent all of eternity locked in that room, doing nothing but gorging himself on eldritch hentai and fingering the hole where his dick used to be. But alas, all good things must come to an end.

On the seventh day, Steven went into labor.

Steven hadn't known he was pregnant. He was only a kid, after all. He hadn't even had sex. The only indication he received was a hideous, demonic chuckle that reverberated in his testicles for a full minute. As the laughter faded, excruciating pain shot through his dickhole. Steven cried out in anguish, falling to his knees as something massive moved through his urethra, stretching it wider than Steven's entire body. A hairy pink fist punched out of the ragged gash that had once been his penis, followed swiftly by another. As Steven writhed on the floor, screaming for help, the hands gripped the edge of his cockhole and slowly, agonizingly slowly, stretched it wide enough for an enormous, shaggy head to emerge.

 "Hallo Steven, ya fuckin' ugly yobbo."

 Steven gaped in astonishment at the blood-slicked furry mass. "Lion, is that you? You're alive? And you're Australian?"

 "Course I am. Now get me outta ya fuckin' cocktube or I'll bust ya fuckin' head in, ya silly wanker."

 Tears of joy streaked down Steven's face as he grabbed Lion's paw and pulled with all of his might. With a sickening squelching noise, the rest of Lion's three-meter-long body slid out of Steven's urethra. Lion barely had time to shake the blood from his pink fur before Steven threw his arms around the big cat and hugged him as tightly as possible.

 "I'm so glad you're ok, Lion! The others told me you died, but I knew you were alive! I knew it!"

 Lion chuckled, a deep rumbling noise not unlike the sound of a golem getting fisted. "I missed ya too, ya pudgy fuckstick. But there's somethin' I gotta tell ya, mate"

 "Does it have to do with why you have people hands now?"

Lion tousled Steven's curly hair tenderly. "Kinda. Y'see mate, when I got sucked into that portal, I got my ass reamed by every buggering low-class daemon this side of Fuckhole Galaxy. That much spooge... well, it changes you, mate. I'm not the man I was."

 "What are you saying, Lion?"

 "I'm a mutated sex fiend of Slaanesh and I'm gonna bite your fuckin' nads off, mate."

 "Oh. Any particular reason?"

 "Ya've got unbelievable sex power in the family jewels. Slaanesh 'imself hand-picked your cock to be the one that serves 'is wankering will on this piss-poor planet. I eat your knackers, and I'll be fuckin' everything on this planet up the arse in a heartbeat!"

Steven, who had been slowly edging away while the demented sexbeast spoke, swallowed hard as he noticed Lion's completely erect, spear-like penis. Lion eyed him with amusement.

"Don't worry your pretty li'l head, fuckaroo. After I swallow your knobs, I'll make ya part o' my personal 'arem with the rest of the Gems. Then ya can take my knot like a good li'l--"

"Wait a minute," Steven said, his eyes narrowing. "You said 'the rest of the Gems'. Are you gonna cuck me? I thought we were bros!"

"That doesn't matter now--"

"Of course it fucking matters! You broke Bro Code, man! You fucking broke Bro Code!"

"Fuck you! If you're such a good bro then let me eat your god damn fucking gonads!" Lion snarled, lashing out at Steven with his enormous, cruelly barbed dong.

Steven summoned his mother's shield in the nick of time, blocking the fleshy halberd a second before it penetrated his tender butthole. "Fuck _you_ , Lion! Fuck your fucking furry ass, and fuck Australia too!"

Lion bared his teeth in a feral grin. "Insultin' Australia, eh mate? I'll show ya how we do things down under! There isn't a rubber in the world that can stop an Aussie's cock when 'is dander's up!"

Lion's penis curled back like a serpent and struck again, slamming into the shield with incredible force. A single crack, no wider than a hair, spread across the shield's surface. Seeing Steven's look of horror, Lion laughed and gave him a saucy wink.

"I told ya, mate. It's no good. Your li'l shield ain't got a chance in hell of holdin' off my advanced penis techniques. Surrender now, and I'll plunder your hairy li'l asshole last."

Steven gritted his teeth, concentrating all of his energy into maintaining the shield. There was no way in hell he'd surrender. There had to be something he could do, some way he could go on the offensive. But no matter how much he racked his brain, he couldn't think of any means to counterattack. It was all he could do to hold Lion off, and even that wouldn't be possible for much longer.

_So this is how it ends_ , a voice whispered at the back of his mind. _I just have to accept that I'll spend the rest of my life getting ass-fucked and cucked?_

The very thought made his balls churn with rage.

"Better make up your mind soon, Stevie-boy. The ol' cockaroo is gettin' impatient over 'ere." Lion punctuated the statement with a flippant slap of his cock that sent cracks running all across the shield's surface.

Steven's ball churned harder. "No way," he whispered. "I'll fuck you."

Lion cackled. "Ya what mate? Fuck me? With what? You ain't got a dick, you silly fuckin' wanker!"

Steven's balls were whirring like jet engines. Sexual energy radiated through his entire body, filling him with a strength unlike any he'd felt before. He knew what he had to do.

"Lion," he said, looking directly into his former friend's eyes. "I'm giving you one chance to leave this place now and never return. I won't come after you. But if you stay here, I will fuck you. I will fuck you mercilessly. And if you ever so much as look at Garnet, Amethyst, or Pearl, I will end your fucking pathetic life."

Lion crossed his arms and laughed. His cock laughed, too. Each of his four testicles also had a good chortle. "Think you're hot shit, d'ya? Face it, mate, you're up shit creek without a paddle. Ya've got incredible power hidden in those nads, but without a proper willy, ya can't use it for shit. Get ready for the fuckin' tiger, mate. I'm goin' in balls deep. And after I'm through with ya, I'm gonna fuck your precious Gems' fat little arses all the harder. And I'll make ya watch me do it, cuckboy!"

As Lion's cock reared back to deliver the final blow, Steven saw his chance. Lowering the shield and focusing all of his power on his genital region, he offered a silent prayer to the only god who would answer him.

_Slaanesh, guide my cock!_

An instant before Lion's genital warhead struck, a pillar of blinding, white-hot flame shot from Steven's crotch, hitting Lion right in his fucking eye.

"Ow, my fucking eye!" Lion screamed, falling to his knees and clapping a hand over his fucking eye. "I'll fuckin' kill ya for that, yobbo! I'll fuckin' kill ya!"

Letting out a primal roar, Lion whipped his cock at Steven's head with superhuman strength. But he had underestimated the boy for the last time. Moving faster than any human or Gem could possibly move, Steven caught the feline cock between his teeth and viciously sunk his fangs into the tender dickflesh. Lion's screams echoed through the temple as Steven ripped his fucking dick off and swallowed it whole.

Steven's body began to shimmer with a malevolent pink light. The sexual energy flowing from his balls had reached peak levels. The white flames sprouting from his dicktube twisted, shifting and coalescing into an umblemished, shining, sweaty cock, nearly twice the length of his body. Lion's entire body trembled at the sight of it.

"Please... have mercy, Your Sexiness," he begged, kowtowing at Steven's feet.

Steven's eyes were as hard and cold as rock. "Remember the time you took a shit on my favorite t-shirt?"

Lion swallowed and nodded.

"Go fuck yourself," Steven said, releasing a geyser of acidic urine directly into Lion's face. The powerful toxins ate away at Lion's flesh, reducing his once-proud head to a bare, grinning skull in mere seconds. Smiling coldly, Steven continued pissing, letting the golden shower envelope Lion's entire body.

Without warning, there was sudden crash from behind him and a cacophony of voices.

"Steven, are you alright?"

"We were on guard and we heard screaming!"

"What's going ON here, Steven?"

Steven whirled around in surprise, sending golden droplets flying. Amethyst and Connie stood in the doorway, the metal door thrown aside by Amethyst's incredible strength. Connie's mouth widened into a perfect "O" as she saw Steven's massive fucking dick. Then the droplets of pee splattered across her face, and her expression contorted in absolute, unknowable pain. There was no time to even scream before her flesh was utterly consumed. Steven could only watch in horror as his beloved Connie toppled to the floor, dead as a fucking doorknob.

Amethyst was frozen in disbelief, her eyes darting back and forth as she tried to register just what the fuck was going on.

Steven took a shaky step towards Connie, tears beginning to flow from his eyes. It all felt so unreal. This couldn't be happening. It was all just a dream. A nightmare, like the last time! Connie wasn't dead! Lion wasn't dead! Everyone was ok, and tomorrow would be just like yesterday. Pearl would be making pancakes, and Garnet would be off fighting ISIS terrorists while Amethyst put his stuff in her ass. Connie would come over and try to convince him to watch Sword Art Online or some other weeaboo shit. Everything would be happy and normal. He just had to wake up.

Steven took a deep breath and pinched himself as hard as he could. It hurt like hell. He didn't wake up. He tried again. Still not awake.

Again.

Still not awake.

Again.

Still not awake.

Again.

Still not awake.

"Why can't I wake up?" he sobbed, falling on the floor and cradling Connie's skull in his arms. "This is all just a nightmare, isn't it? Please, Amethyst, tell me it's just a nightmare!"

Amethyst swallowed hard and took a deep breath to compose herself. "I'm sorry, Steven. It's not a dream," she said softly, giving Connie's body a wide berth as she walked up to him. "What happened here?"

"I don't know... Lion came out of my dickhole and then he tried to eat my nuts and I fought him off somehow but then you and Connie came in and, and then I..."

"Shhh, don't worry. I'm here now, ok buddy?" Amethyst said, bending down and pulling Steven into a hug. Wailing, he buried his face in her awesome rack.

"What do I do, Amethyst? I-I killed them! I killed them both!"

Amethyst patted his back comfortingly. "There, there... we all make mistakes, Steven. If every porkchop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs."

Steven sniffled. "Really?"

"Yeah. I mean, just look at me, Steven! Believe it or not, I've been in this kinda spot before."

Steven looked up at her. "What do I do, Amethyst? The others already hate me. If they find out I killed Connie and Lion, they'll never talk to me again!"

"Nah, they don't hate you. None of us ever hated you. They're just worried about you, Steven. And what they don't know won't hurt them."

"W-what are you saying?"

"We hide the bodies, Steven. No one will ever know."

"You'll really help me do that?"

"Of course. We're Super Buddies, remember?"

A very wet, wavering smile crossed Steven's face. "You're the best, Amethyst."

Amethyst grinned at him. "I know. Now c'mon, let's move them before they start to smell."


	3. Mad Minx: Spermy Road

Amethyst slammed down the lid of the Lamborghini's trunk. "Alright Steven, let's get these stiffs outta here. Lion's really starting to smell."

Steven wiped his blood and piss-covered hands on his pants. "Okay, but I call shotgun!" he said, hopping into the car and pulling the door shut.

Jumping in through the sunroof, Amethyst plopped into the driver's seat. "Don't forget to put your seatbelt on, Steven."

Steven complied hastily as a thought occurred to him. "Amethyst, do you know how to drive?"

Amethyst grinned and slammed her foot on the gas. "Nope."

The sleek and stylish sports car roared to life, spinning its wheels for a second before taking off. Spraying chunks of gravel, it shot down the unpaved road at breakneck speed. Amethyst let out a whoop as they rammed into something that looked suspiciously like Nanefua and sent it flying over the hood with a sickening crunch.

"Amethyst! You just fucking killed Nanefua!" Steven said, looking at the blood smeared across the windshield in horror.

"Yep!"

"Why?"

"Bitch owed me money!" Amethyst hooted, punching the horn.

Steven nodded sagely. Live like a bitch, die like a bitch.

Lying in the dirt in a pool of her own blood, Nanefua lifted her head weakly. "Avenge me, my children," she whispered. "Take blood for the Blood God..."

Unaware of the granny's wrath, Amethyst cackled, pounding the horn like a drum as she blasted down the road at breakneck speed. Imps and fucklings scurried out of the way as she drove past, grinding any that were too slow or stupid to move into a bloody pulp under the tires.

"Where are we going, Amethyst?" Steven asked, switching on the radio.

"What's left of Beach City. With as many bodies as that dump's hiding, there's no way anybody will notice a couple more." Amethyst turned the volume up to maximum as Creedence Clearwater Revival began to play.

_I see the bad moon rising..._

John Fogerty's dulcet tones pulsed through the car like a minor earthquake. Steven's entire body vibrated with sonic waves, transforming his car seat into a massage chair. Moaning softly and nodding his head to the beat, Steven looked out the window. It was a depressing sight. What had once been beautiful beachside scenery was now barren, Chaos-scarred land, with soil the color of ash. What little plant life remained was twisted into unrecognizable shapes and forms that defied logic. Most of the smaller animals had mutated into imps or fucklings, vile creatures with no conscience that existed only to serve their foul Gods.

As for the humans, Amethyst had told him that they mostly took shelter at the edges of the blast area or in the ruins of Beach City. Connie had been staying with them in the Crystal Temple after her family was killed in the explosion caused by Steven's dick.

Steven swallowed hard and tried to think about something else. It was a fruitless endeavor. No matter what, his thoughts always returned to Connie. Her smiling face, the way her hair shone in the light, her fucking shit taste in anime--Steven had never met anyone like her before, and now he never would again. All it took was a few drops of Chaos-infused pee on her face and she was gone forever.

_Don't go around tonight, well it's bound to take your life..._

"Hold on tight. Somebody's following us," Amethyst said, swerving the Lamborghini sharply to the right. Steven lurched forward, nearly banging his head on the dashboard.

"Huh? Who is it?"

"It's not Garnet, I can tell you that much," Amethyst said, jerking her thumb at the back window.

Steven turned around to get a good look. Sure enough, raising up a cloud of dust on the road behind them were three figures on motorbikes. They were gaining on the Lamborghini altogether too quickly for Steven's liking.

"Can't we go any faster?"

"Don't ask me! I don't know how to drive!" Amethyst shouted, lunging across the seats and tearing open the glove compartment.

"Amethyst, what the fuck? Where did you get a Desert Eagle?" Steven asked as she withdrew a pistol the size of his head.

"It came with the car!" she said, sticking her arm out the driver-side window and cracking off a few shots. The bullets zipped harmlessly into the dirt as the bikers split formation, one of them flanking the car from each side and the third bringing up the rear.

Steven stuck his head out the window to get a better look. One of the bikers was drawing close, her hair flapping in the wind. With a shock, Steven realized that he recognized her.

"Amethyst, this one's Kiki!"

"Ask her what she wants!"

Steven leaned back out the window and cupped his hands around his mouth. "Kiki, what do you want?" he shouted.

Kiki raised a spear in the air and shouted something back, but her words were lost in the auditory thunderstorm of Creedence Clearwater Revival.

"Could you repeat that?"

Steven watched her lips carefully as she repeated the phrase and retracted his head just in time to avoid being impaled by her flung spear.

"I think she said 'blood for the Blood God', Amethyst."

"Tell her to fuck off!" Amethyst said, firing another round at the biker on her side, who Steven could now recognize as Jenny.

"Hey Kiki, fuck off!" he shouted out the window, flipping her off for good measure.

Kiki shook her fist and revved her engine, drawing parallel to him. Up close, Steven could make out the still-bloody human bones that had been grafted to her motorcycle like trophies.

"Skulls for the Skull Throne!" she howled, pulling a knife from the folds of her cloak and leaping from her bike onto the side of the car.

Steven reached into his pants and began to jack off. There was nothing Khorne devotees hated more than a facefull of spooge. As Kiki shoved her war-painted head through the window, he no-scoped her right in the eye with a jet of concentrated Slaaneshian sperm. She didn't even have time to scream. Her body sagged and toppled to the ground, lifeless.

_I fear rivers overflowin', I hear the voice of rage and ruin..._

"Steven, cover me!" Amethyst called.

Steven's fingers flew along the length of his cock like a pianist performing a symphony. Rapid shots of semi-automatic semen fired from his cock, riddling Jenny's body with holes. A stray round of ejaculate flew into her motorbike's engine and ignited the machine into a roaring fireball. The explosion flung the twisted, mangled pieces of her body to the four winds.

Amethyst twisted the steering wheel as far to the left as she could, U-turning and bearing down on the final biker, Kofi, with a bloodthirsty whoop. Baring his bloodied teeth, Kofi threw back his head and roared, a primal battle cry that sent shivers down Steven's spine. The two vehicles crashed together in a screaming, spinning maelstrom of heat, metal, and blood.

_Don't go around tonight,_

_Well, it's bound to take your life,_

_There's a bad moon on the rise._

The radio died in a final, hellish scream of static as the airbags deployed with a whoosh, smashing into Steven's face and crushing the air from his lungs. The entire front of his body throbbed with pain. It felt like someone had taken a sledgehammer to it. Gasping for air, he extricated himself from the airbag as the car screeched to a halt. Beside him, Amethyst did the same.

Kofi's slightly smoking body was sprawled across their windshield, gushing blood from innumerable wounds. His head lay on the ground several feet away, his face eternally frozen in a maniacal laugh. As for his motorcycle, the force and heat of the impact had fused it and the Lamborghini into a single twisted lump of metal.

Steven looked at Amethyst, his entire body pumping with adrenaline. His cock stood utterly erect.

Amethyst looked at Steven, her chest heaving and her eyes smoldering. She'd never been this wet in her entire life.

For one long, interminable moment, they held each other's gaze, neither of them saying a word. Then they fucked.

Who made the first move, neither of them could say. One second they were staring at each other, fully clothed, and the next they were a tangled mass of limbs and orifices, thrusting and bucking back and forth hard enough to make the entire car rock.

"Fuck me, Steven, fuck me!" Amethyst groaned, bouncing up and down on his cock. "Tell me what a naughty girl I've been!"

"You're a naughty girl, Amethyst! I'm going to give you extra homework!" Steven cried, pushing her onto the dashboard and pistoning his cock into her unprotected womb.

"Naughtier!" she said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and biting her lip as he thrust inside her like a jackhammer.

"Detention!"

"Naughtier!"

"I-I'm calling your parents!"

"Naughtier!" Amethyst shouted, pinning him back against the seat and bucking her hips in time with his thrusts.

"Nobody even fucking likes you, Amethyst!"

As soon as the words left his mouth, Steven realized they were a mistake. Amethyst glared at him, ripping his cock out of her vagina and squeezing it in her powerful fist.

"What was that, Steven?"

"S-sorry... I just got too invested in the role," Steven spluttered, trying not to scream as his bruised cock slowly turned an ugly shade of purple.

Amethyst sniffed, releasing his cock from her vise-like grip. "Whatever."

A wave of ecstasy washed through Steven as his dong was freed, prompting him to cum all over her shirt. The unexpected naval assault made them both break into giggles. Seeing Amethyst's smiling face made a strange warmth bloom in Steven's chest and his cock quickly erected itself again, harder than ever.

"Looks like someone's still excited," Amethyst said with a grin, flicking his dick with her finger. "Wanna try anal?"

"Do I ever!" Steven said, his cock spiraling around her like a constrictor and plunging into her plump purple butthole. Her ass gripped his cock even tighter than her pussy, its warmth squeezing him like a sexy 5-layer burrito around his dick. Her moans spurring him on, Steven mounted her and thrust into her tight asshole with all of his might.

"Steven! Oh, fuck me, Steven, fuck me!" Amethyst screamed, shapeshifting herself a pair of DDs that jiggled with every thrust.

Steven complied, performing the greatest, most powerful ass-fuck known to mankind. Again and again he came inside her bum, filling her with his potent Slaaneshian cum. Slapping her ass, he unleashed an advanced penis technique: splitting his dong in twain, he pounded her ass with one and fucked her vagina with the other.

Amethyst's moans were a concierto of ecstasy. Flipping Steven onto his back, she rode his twin cocks like a champion, her tight holes milking every last drop of cum out of him. Shapeshifting his arms into penises, Steven shoved one in her mouth and titfucked her with the other. Cum flowed from his dicks endlessly, and Amethyst's body was doing its best to match him. Forming vaginas in her hands, she fucked his dicklegs mercilessly. Sweating, shifting, moaning, they fucked harder and harder, unable to stop even if they'd wanted to.

Steven had never felt more wonderful in his entire life. He couldn't believe this was real. He must have died when the car crashed, because surely this was heaven. No longer to content with half-measures, they shifted their entire bodies into various sex organs, him penetrating her a thousand times over and vice-versa. Soon they were no longer even fucking with tangible forms, but formed layers of interlocking particles fucking on a sub-atomic level. Millions of Steven's cocks pistoned in and out of Amethyst's myriad vaginas and buttholes even as hers did the same to him. Again and again they climaxed, lost in a sea of pleasure.

For three days and three nights they fucked without end, not even pausing for bathroom breaks. As the clock struck midnight on the final night, they took the ultimate step. Steven fashioned his gem into a massive, neon pink penis, while Amethyst's formed a softly glowing purple vagina. And so the final fucking began.

With each thrust, they screamed each other's names, clinging together so tightly that no force on Earth or Homeworld could have separated them. Their hearts were aflame with a passion unlike anything either of them had ever felt before. Tears fell from their eyes and cum oozed from their genitals. Together they came one final time, Gem-to-Gem.

Panting, Steven collapsed on top of her, burying his face in her chest and wrapping his arms around her waist. "I love you so much, Amethyst," he whispered.

Amethyst smiled, lifted his face and kissed him. Not a bullshit fucking baby kiss like that shit with Connie, she went right the fuck in and kissed him on the mouth. "I love you too, Steven," she said, hugging him tightly. "I love you so much it hurts."

For the first time in their lives, they felt fulfilled. More than that, they felt... safe. Welcome. Happy.

The snuggles continued until dawn.


	4. Mad Minx: Beyond Thunderfarts

Spooning was, Steven decided, even better than jacking off. Lying there with his arm wrapped around Amethyst's waist, listening to the sound of her breathing and feeling his dick pressing against her buttcheeks made his heart feel fit to burst with joy. The dawn's first rays of sunlight streamed through the shattered windshield, tinging her pale hair molten gold.

Gods, she was so beautiful.

_Pbbbbtbbbbbbbbbbbbbbthhhht._

Steven recoiled in disgust as Amethyst let out the loudest, deepest, nastiest fart he had ever borne witness to, her buttcheeks actually spreading apart from the force of the blast. The stench of a charnel house roiled through the air, steaming up the windows. Steven gagged and clapped his hands over his nose, unable to tear his eyes away from the cavernous hole in her ass as it gasped out an endless stream of noxious fumes. Every time he thought it had died down, it sputtered back to life, horrifyingly similar to the Doctor Who fanbase. Steven's life flashed before his eyes. Just when he thought that her reservoir of flatulence would never deplete, her asshole gave one final rumble and ejected a small, shiny object with a quiet pop.

"Whoops, that was a big one," she giggled.

Still holding his nose, Steven delicately picked up the object between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes widened as he realized where he'd seen it before. "This is part of my rock collection! Amethyst, what the fuck?"

"No way, man. It's just some rock I found laying around," Amethyst said, giving a nervous-sounding laugh and avoiding his eyes.

Steven didn't buy it. "It has my initials carved into it, you asshole!"

"S.U. could mean anybody! It probably belongs to some kid named Stanley Morris."

"Fuck you! That's bullshit and you know it!" Steven growled.

Amethyst sat up and crossed her arms, glaring at him. "Who gives a shit, Steven? It's a fucking rock! Get a better hobby, fucknuts! Go play video games and fucking wank to Samus or something!"

"You're a fucking rock!" Steven shouted, nearly in tears. "You're a fucking rock! Why don't you just leave my stuff alone and shove your finger in your ass?"

"I have a medical condition! I don't wanna talk about it!"

"Oh yeah? What, if you don't shove my rocks in your ass you'll fucking die?"

Amethyst bared her teeth in fury. "Yes! I have a fucking terminal disease! Okay? Is that what you wanted to hear, Steven? Now you can tell Pearl and Garnet what a freak I am! Tell what's left of the town that if I don't get anally stimulated at least once a day I'll fucking die! Go ahead!"

"What kind of disease is that?" Steven laughed in disbelief. "Why don't you just buy a dildo or something, you fucking asshole?"

Her meaty purple fist broke the window behind him into a million shards of glass, missing his face by less than an inch. Amethyst's voice was low and deadly. "What makes you think I haven't tried? I've bought dildos! I've bought tons of dildos, Steven! And you know what happens? Pearl thinks I'm buying art supplies for her and she whittles them into silverware. Fucking silverware, Steven! I can't shove that up my ass! People eat off it!"

A horrible tightness formed in his chest as it dawned on Steven that she wasn't kidding. "Amethyst... I'm sorry. I didn't think--"

"Think what? Think I'm a freak? Think I'm a disgusting, incomplete, failure of a Gem? You think I like this, Steven? Because I don't. I don't like putting rocks in my ass! They're fucking rocks! It hurts!" Tears were beginning to streak down her face. "But guess what? There's nothing I can do about it. I've always been a freak and I always will be."

"Amethyst--"

"Just leave me alone, Steven," she said, reaching for the door handle. "I'm gonna go for a walk."

"Wait a minute!" Steven said, lassoing her with his cock. "Don't you remember what you told me?"

"Let me go, Steven!" she demanded, trying to wiggle out of his grip.

"Listen to me! If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn't have hot dogs!"

"That doesn't even fucking mean anything, Steven!" she snapped.

"Yes it does!" Steven said, his eyes aflame with passion. "I love you just the way you are! And if you need anal sex every day, I'll give it to you! I'll give it to you twice a day! Three times a day! As much as you want!"

Amethyst stared at him in shock, blinking dumbly. "You'd--you'd really do that for me?"

"Heck yeah I would! I'm a love machine and you're my battery, baby!" Steven gave her the sexiest wink and grin he could manage.

"You idiot," she said, a faint blush coloring her cheeks indigo. "In that case... you are cordially invited to fuck my ass."

"I thought you'd never ask," he said, gently releasing her from his dong-restraints.

Amethyst smiled, wiping her tears away with his dick. As she bent over, opening her asshole to him, she ripped another hellacious fart. Gale-force winds flattened Steven against the door, nearly crushing his ribs. The entire car shook in the throes of Amethyst's anal hurricane. The remaining windows cracked and shattered. Then, as soon as it had begun, the flatulent bombardment stopped, leaving behind a hideous, sepulchral odor that singed the inside of Steven's nostrils.

"Whew! No more tacos for this Gem!" Amethyst laughed, giving her ass a hard smack. "C'mon Steven, don't be a pussy! Put it in my pooper!"

The sight of her asshole winking at him from between her meaty cheeks was irresistible. Steven's member quickly entered peak hardness levels. Shrugging off the aftereffects of the gastrointestinal warhead she'd just set off, he plunged his fleshy freight train right into her anal subway. Amethyst moaned softly, begging him to go harder as he delivered precise anal thrusts directly into her G-spot. Together they danced the anal tango, making romance with such passion and intensity that even Fabio, Master of Love, would have nodded his head in approval.

"Oh, Stevie..." Amethyst gasped, biting her lip.

"Ungh... Amethyst..." Steven said, feeling a climax swelling up inside him.

"Oh, yeeees boss, give her the dick."

The two lovers stopped cold, looking at each other questioningly.

"You hear that?" Amethyst asked, raising an eyebrow. Steven nodded.

"Oh, yeeeessss!" The high-pitched voice said again, unmistakably coming from the hood of the Lamborghini.

As one, the two of them looked through the windshield and found themselves face to face with a gruesome sight. Some praeternatural power had reanimated Kofi's severed head and formed the flesh of his neck into thin, spider-like legs, as well as a surprisingly girthy penis. The head appeared to be having some sort of epileptic seizure; it scuttled back and forth in a frenzy of motion, winking lewdly while jerking itself off with an extra pair of legs.

"Hello Boss," it said.

"Bastard! Stop spanking your wanky!" Steven roared, decking the head in the face. Letting out an earsplitting screech, it rolled off the hood and fell several feet to the ground below.

Amethyst snorted. "What's this thing supposed to be? Can we kill it? If we can kill it, I call dibs!" she said, summoning her whip and pushing open the door to get a better view.

The head sprang to its feet, bowing--or at least attempting to--as she stepped outside. "Pardon my lewdness," it said, concealing its erect dick behind several legs. "I am but a humble servant of our great Lord, Slaanesh. I have come to serve and aid you in your task, oh Chosen of Slaanesh and Bride of the Anal."

Amethyst sniffed. "You normally just show up and jerk off to people you don't know?"

"Kinda," it replied. "It's what I do."

She nodded. "I can respect that, dude."

"What's this about a task? What do you mean?" Steven asked, stepping outside as well.

The head wailed and kowtowed furiously. "It is an honor indeed to be addressed by one such as you, Your Sexiness! I have watched you since the very beginning of your journey. You seemed so young and innocent then, pleasuring yourself to the cantaloupe woman and her peers. It's hard to believe what a fine young warrior of Slaanesh you've become!"

Amethyst shot Steven a dirty look. "The cantaloupe woman?"

Steven felt his balls churn in horror.

"Yes, it was quite spectacular! I've never seen so much lust in a single boy before! And the quality of the sperm! Simply exquisite! Why, if I'd known the secret to such forceful ejaculations was--"

"Yeah, that was cool. So how did you get here, anyway? And what's this task?" Steven said, cutting the Slaaneshian off before he could dig the hole any deeper. It almost seemed years ago that he'd spent that blissful day fingering his genitals and wallowing in lust. It felt wonderful at the time, but because of his masturbation, thousands had died. Connie had died. It was hard to be proud of something like that.

He didn't think it would be especially helpful for their relationship for Amethyst to find out just how many times he'd jacked off to Pearl, either. She'd probably kill him in his sleep.

Azazel rubbed its forelegs together excitedly, apparently not minding the hasty subject change. "Yes, of course. As for my presence here, the sexual energy you two released during your morning love-making was so great that it tore open a small, short-lived portal to the Warp, giving me just enough time to pass through and possess a mortal body."

"Couldn't you have chosen one that wasn't a severed head? And why'd you graft a fucking dick on it, man? That's just gross," said Amethyst.  
  
The Daemon looked rather miffed. Clearing what was left of its throat, it continued as though she hadn't spoken. "As for the task, it is a small one. You have the makings of a great Champion of Chaos, Your Sexiness. Lord Slaanesh has great faith in you, and would like you to perform a simple favor. Whilst your Sexiness and Her Bootyliciousness were making with the fucking, enemies of the Prince of Pleasure were putting their plans into motion. They have taken the bodies of your friends and as we speak, they make for an altar of Tzeentch in order to enact some nefarious ritual. Slaanesh desires that you stop them."

"They what?" Steven cried, hurrying to the back of the Lamborghini and flinging open the trunk. Sure enough, the bodies had vanished, leaving behind only a pool of bodily fluids where they had lain. Steven got a bit of an erection looking at it, but he wasn't really in the mood.

"Those fucking cocksleeves!" he said, clenching his fists. "We can't let them get away with this!"

"Indeed," the head nodded. "Unfortunately, it is difficult to trace a Tzeentchian who does not want to be found. Our best guess is that they have secluded themselves in the Palace of Sorcery, amidst the ruins of Beach City."

"Let's go, Amethyst!" said Steven, whipping his cock out and spinning it above his head. With a low, intense whirring noise, the rapidly rotating penis was soon a blur of motion, lifting Steven into the air.

"Right behind you, lover boy!" Amethyst called, jumping into the air and latching onto his dangling balls as he passed overhead.

The head cupped a pair of legs around its mouth and yelled, its high-pitched voice nearly drowned out by the roar of Steven's cock chafing through the air. "Fly quickly, and may Slaanesh be with you!"

The two of them rose into the sky, headed due east. The head waved a spindly leg and watched them fade into the distance. As soon as they were no longer visible it made several complicated and increasingly rude Slaaneshian gestures, including one which roughly translates to "Fuck you, you ungodly motherfucker. I hope you die along with everyone you hold dear, and that your unloved offspring are sodomized by Nurglings in their dreams. May Slaanesh tear your genitals to ribbons in the Warp for all eternity. Jerk."

Scuttling under the car to shelter its moldering flesh from the blazing afternoon sun, the head began to grumble to itself. "Can't stand that asshole. Little fuckboy didn't even remember me. That's gratitude for you, isn't it? Taught him everything he knows, I did. And where does that fucking purple cow get off, saying my dick is gross? Fucking hate mortal pawns."

Sighing deeply, it began to tenderly stroke its cock once more, picturing in its mind the image that had haunted its every waking thought for weeks: A slim, pale woman with a gem in her forehead laying on a table, covered in various slices of Earth fruits. Her nude body dripped with fruit juices, from her milky white boobies with their perfectly spherical nipples, to the moist canyon so tauntingly hidden by her crossed legs. Her heavily lidded, sultry eyes seemed to be calling to the Daemon, begging it to enter her, to become one with her in body and soul.

Even a Daemon has its weaknesses. For the one possessing Kofi's head, it was this woman, this goddess of love. Ever since that fateful day when it had possessed Steven's penis, it had been unable to take its mind off of her heavenly form, portrayed through the lens of Steven's lustful mind. Other forms, human, xeno, or Daemon, held no pleasure for it any more. Not even the sexual ministrations of its harem of cross-dressing boys could arouse it the way she could with just a look.

Its tendrils twisted and wrung its cock faster and faster. _I'm going to cum for you, milady_ , it thought gleefully. _I'll cum all over your boobies! I'll make you my wife! My beautiful Gem wife!_

Streams of steaming Daemonic semen spurted from its cock, hissing as they struck the sand. The acidic cum smoldered and burned, leaving a thin black line of scorched earth wherever it landed. Thousands of similar lines crisscrossed the sand beneath the car in a tapestry of love, forming a remarkably well-made portrait of Pearl.

The daemon stepped back and admired its work. It had been a busy morning, but the eyes still needed shading. Stepping delicately to avoid damaging the artwork, it pointed its cock directly at her face and began to masturbate once again.

"I'll make you my girl, Pearl," it crooned. "My sweet, sweet Pearl..."

* * *

As the two of them neared the ruins of Beach City, it quickly became apparent that something wrong, and this time it wasn't just because Amethyst had eaten twenty fucking tacos while they were having sex and needed to stop flying every five minutes to blast out liquid magma diarrhea dumps. The first thing they noticed was that there were no ruins, no rubble, no sign of their beloved town. Where Beach City had stood there was instead a sprawling palace, shimmering in all the colors of the rainbow and some not meant for mortal eyes. Its non-Euclidean towers bent the laws of space-time to breaking point as they stretched into the clouds above them. On the front gate, behind the moat filled with liquid sorcery, there was a sign that read "All visitors please proceed to top floor".

Steven began to feel very uneasy. The roar of his peniscopter was too loud for them to speak to one another directly, so he relayed a Morse Code message to Amethyst by twitching his ballsack rhythmically.

"This might be a trap. Should we go up?"

Feeling Amethyst squeeze his balls affirmatively, he took a deep breath. Then he kicked his penis-twirling into maximum overdrive. Higher and higher he flew, his nipples growing rock-solid from the freezing air. With each passing second, the temperature grew colder and his nip-nops grew harder. Before long, his titties were dangling miniature icicles. The tower seemed to stretch on into eternity. Finally, after what seemed like hours of horrible, nipple-freezing pain, he soared above the peak of the highest tower and collapsed on the roof, panting from exertion.

There was a figure waiting for them. Clad in a simple yellow t-shirt, spandex pants, and a red bandanna tied around its head, it carried no visible weapons. Nevertheless, just looking at it struck terror into their very souls. Part of that had to due with its incredible golden mustache that gleamed like the morning star, Lucifer himself. The other part had to do with the fact that it was fucking Hulk Hogan.

"Welcome, brother! I hope you're ready for an all-American ass-kicking!" Hulk Hogan screamed, ripping his shirt off.

"Hulkster! Why are you working with the forces of Chaos?" Amethyst cried. "What happened to the Four Demandments?"

"Demandments nothing! It's all about power, kids! Once I deal with you punks, Tzeentch himself promised to make me a Daemon Prince!"

"André the Giant was right about you!" Amethyst said, tearing her frozen hands off of Steven's balls and jabbing a finger at the Hulkster. "He knew what kind of monster you were all along!"

"André was a fool who didn't know what real power was! I only wish I could have been the one to kill him!"

"That's not true! You're a good person! Get a hold of yourself, Hulkster! You don't have to do this!" Steven pleaded.

"Gird your asshole, brother! Hulkamania's running wild!" Hulk bellowed, delivering a running kick straight to Steven's face.

Steven toppled like a puppet whose strings had been cut.

"Is that it, brother?" Hulk sneered, planting a foot on Steven's head and grinding his face into the floor.

"Heads up, motherfucker!" Amethyst charged at Hulk, lashing out with her whip. Snatching it out of the air with his bare hand, Hulk effortlessly jerked her forward and crushed her neck with a brutal short-arm lariat. Amethyst hit the ground like a sack of bricks.

"Weak! Weak! Weak!" he roared, kicking her in the ribs. "You have no spirit, no power! You're nothing but a shell! A filthy xeno like you should be culled!"

"Hey fucko," Steven croaked through a mouthful of broken teeth. "Remember when you had an acting career?"

Hulk stiffened, his eyes swiveling and locking onto the boy's limp body. "You got a problem with 3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain, brother?"

Steven smiled a truly ghastly smile. "It fucking sucked, man."

Roaring in pure American fury, Hulk went in for the kill. His entire body glowed with the golden aura of Hogan Energy as he cupped his hands at his side, concentrating his patriotic power into a ball of golden light.

"You'll regret those words! Get a taste of my Hulkme-hame-ha, brother!"

Hulk thrust his cupped hands forward, firing the shimmering mass of Hogan energy in an enormous beam attack that flowed towards Steven in a torrent of unstoppable force. At the last second, Steven threw up his mother's shield at maximum power, holding out against the attack like a rock amidst a stream.

"Do it now, Amethyst!"

"Surprise, motherfucker! It's Puma time!" she shouted, wrapping a pair of burly arms around Hulk's waist and suplexing him through the fucking roof and into the floor below. The dreaded Hulkme-hame-ha shot harmlessly into the sky, slicing through clouds like tissue paper.

"And now it's Tiger Millionaire's turn!" Demonstrating surprising agility for a fat kid who just got his shit pushed in, Steven leapt into the hole they'd left behind and caught Hulk across the chin with a vicious aerial cockslap, launching the Hulkster across the room and into the wall.

Amethyst caught Steven by the wang as he fell and twirled him around her head, building up incredible centrifugal force before hurling him at the downed Hulk. Raising his donger, Steven screeched in primordial sexual rage, rocketing forward with an erection harder than the jet-ski segment of Battletoads.

"Not so fast! You haven't felt the power of my HULKSENGANS!" Hulk thrust his arms out, intercepting Steven's attack with dual churning spheres of shining Hogan energy. Cock and balls interlocked, neither able to overpower the other. Crackles of energy flickered back and forth around them, singeing Hulk's mustache and lighting Steven's pubic hair on fire.

"Give it up, Hulkster!" Steven said, grinding his cock against the Hulksengans and getting off on the pain. "Tell us where Connie and Lion's bodies are, and we'll let you go!"

"Give up? You don't know who you're dealing with, brother!" Furrowing his brow, Hulk reinforced his Hulksengans with a mighty pulse of psychic energy. For a brief moment, Steven held out under the assault, gritting what few of his teeth were left. The he was gone, flung away like a kite before a gale by the Hulkster's overwhelming power. Crashing through several walls, he finally came to a halt at the feet of a statue fashioned in the shape of a Lord of Change.

"What--what are you?" he gasped, coughing up blood.

Hulk smirked. "Can't rightly say. Ever since I was a boy, I had these psychic powers. I hid them from my family, my friends. Even myself. I wasn't no devil worshiper. I was a good boy. Went to church, never talked back to my momma, took my vitamins before bed. I never masturbated in my entire life! But that doesn't mean jack shit to me now! The Ruinous Powers have shown me so many wonders, so many things I can do with my abilities! If it feels this good, no way it can be wrong!"

"You fuckin' sellout," Amethyst growled, clenching her fists. "You sold your soul to Tzeentch! You're just being used!"

Hulk shrugged. "I don't care, you pudgy purple fuck. I've never felt better in my entire life!"

Steven staggered to his feet, wiping the blood from his lips. "You're not the Hulkster any more," he said, his voice barely more than a whisper. "You're just another piece of Tzeentchian shit I have to clean off the fucking floor!"

Hulk's booming laughter echoed through the chamber like a thunderclap. "You've got guts, punk. I respect that. Tell you what: I'll kill you with my favorite technique. Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!"

A puff of smoke surrounded his body, and in the blink of an eye, the chamber was filled with Hulk Hogans. They were everywhere. On the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling, wherever Steven looked, there were Hulks grinning, flexing, and pointing their sausage-like fingers at him.

Laughter boomed from a thousand throats at once. "Come on, xenos! Can you defeat my ultimate technique?"

"I already have," Amethyst said smugly.

Approximately two thousand and two eyes stared at her in bafflement.

"What?" said the Hulk Hogans.

"What?" said Steven.

She held up the remains of a 4-course Taco Bell dinner. "While you were showing off, I had a little snack."

"Not sure I follow," the Hulks said, their eyes glancing around the room uneasily.

Amethyst grinned and lit a match on her rock-hard ass. "Oh, you will."

Steven had just enough time to summon Rose's shield before Amethyst let loose the most vile fart in recorded history. To call it a cataclysmic event would be an understatement. Her ass went off with the force of a nuclear meltdown. Roughly a thousand Hulk Hogans perished in the blink of an eye, consumed utterly by the maelstrom. The Palace of Sorcery was blown apart floor by floor and torn asunder at the very foundations by the apocalyptic eruption of deviant energy, its pieces reduced to dust and blown to the four winds. The explosion was visible not only from space, but through several neighboring dimensions, all of which later complained of a horrible stench driving suicide rates through the roof. The land and soil were poisoned with methane, never to support life again. So terrible was her flatulence, to this day historians record it as the greatest war crime ever enacted by Gemkind.

Somehow, Rose's shield withstood the back end blow out, engulfing Steven's body completely and carrying him to safety through the mile-high mushroom cloud. Steven was surprised to find himself still alive after an attack like that. The stench that wafted through the air was almost enough to make him wish he wasn't. The Plague Lord himself would have been proud of the hideous, ungodly anal acoustics. Steven gagged, struggling to see through the haze of methane.

"Amethyst...? Amethyst, are you ok?"

"Right behind you, sweet cheeks," she said, giving his ass a slap.

Steven jumped and let out a strangled yelp. "Don't sneak up on me like that!"

"Just be glad I'm not Hulk, or you'd never walk straight again," Amethyst laughed, grabbing his shoulders and dry-humping him.

"How--how are we still alive? That was incredible! I've never seen anything so cool! How did you even fart like that?"

Amethyst's expression darkened. She sighed, squatting in the dirt next to him. "You remember what I was telling you this morning? About my... problem?"

Steven nodded, taking a seat beside her.

"Well--it's because I'm a fartbender."

"A what?"

"A fartbender. I can control farts. Not just my farts, everybody's. Pretty awesome, right?"

Steven bobbed his head fervently.

"But it also means I have gas. Horrible, horrible gas. And I can't always control how strong the farts are. So unless I get something in my butt at least once a day, there's a good chance that I'll shit myself to death. Can you really love someone who can't control her own poop, Steven?"

Steven reached around her shoulders and pulled her close, drinking in her presence. Her hair, her skin, the sound of her breath, the smell of singed asscheeks. He could feel his heart throbbing, aching, longing. It wasn't even a question.

"I can," he said simply. "I can and I do."

Amethyst beamed, planting a kiss on his cheek. "You're an idiot, Steven."

"You got that right, Crystal Clod! You and Captain Cuck over there are the dumbest assholes I've ever seen in my entire life!" a thin, nasally voice jeered from above them.

Within the methane mists came a low, thunderous rumble. A gargantuan shadow loomed in front of them, inhaling the flatulent smog that had engulfed the entire area.

"I thank you for providing my Jaegar with an adequate fuel supply, Clods. I thought I'd have to burn your friends' bodies as an offering to the Changer of Ways, but thanks to you, His blessing is no longer necessary! Cherno Beta has all the power it needs! So now then, you degenerate Earthnoid scum," Peridot cackled, "taste the might of a true Tzeentchian!"


	5. Metal Rear Solid: The Phantom Poon

As she looked up at the machine towering over them like a tungsten god, Amethyst fell to her knees in despair. "Are you telling me we killed that Hogan motherfucker for nothing? Now we gotta fight this green bean bitch too?"

"That's right, Crystal Cucks! Set masers to FUBAR, Cherno Beta! It's time to wipe these shitstains off the ass of the planet!" Peridot screeched.

Plates of metal in the gargantuan machine's chest split apart, revealing a cylindrical tube that crackled with sorcerous energy. The very air pulsed with the breath of Tzeentchian magic, shifting from gas to liquid to solid in a frenzied masturbation of cosmic buildup. In spite of the impressive spectacle, Steven knew this display was merely foreplay, the hors-d'oeuvres to the main course of Tzeentchian fuckery that was about to go down. If that machine was allowed to fire, there was no way they could match its power. There was only one option.

"Amethyst! Suck my dick, quick!"

Never one to turn down an opportunity for a good dicksucking, Amethyst sprung into action. In an instant she had straddled the length of his python-sized cock and was furiously massaging, sucking, and kneading the fleshy tower for all she was worth. Steven threw back his head and moaned as she delivered the old-fashioned dick suck. Waves of pleasure washed over him, dulling the edge of the sharp fear that had almost overtaken his mind. His balls whirled and hummed in their sack, generating untold amounts of potent Slaaneshian jizzum. Aiming his penis at the center of Cherno Beta's maser barrel, Steven clenched his asscheeks together and braced himself for the ejaculation of a lifetime.

"You disgusting motherfuckers! I'll teach you to have physical intimacy in my presence! Fire! Fire! Kill them both! Show the world what you're made of, Cherno Beta!"

Steven screwed his eyes shut and offered a silent prayer to Slaanesh as he climaxed. A geyser of magma-hot spooge blasted from his urethra in a milky torrent, striking the maser cannon dead-center. There was a disgusting hiss as virile Slaaneshian sorcery met mercurial Tzeentchian magic, climbed on top, and sodomized it. The maser cannon fired a single faltering ray of light as it was consumed by cum, missing the two Gems completely.

Peridot howled with rage. "You fucking degenerates! How dare you? How dare you make me see this travesty? Crush them into dust beneath your heel like the Earthnoid waste products they are, Cherno Beta!"

Slowly, the automaton raised its colossal foot, a fifty meter slab of corrugated steel laced with thrusters and vulcans. Amethyst squeezed Steven's cock tightly as the machine's sole blotted out the sky like a looming anvil over their heads.

"Any bright ideas, Stevie-boy?" she asked.

"Just one," he replied, his eyes glittering with an unholy pink light. "I'm gonna fuck it."

"How're you gonna fuck something with no holes, bro? You can't fuck something with no holes! You're talking crazy!" Amethyst ejaculated.

Steven didn't answer. His lips moved noiselessly, chanting the ancient words of an incantation banished from the memory of mankind by Slaanesh's holy fuckrod. Miniature bolts of black lightning flashed and snapped around him as his recital continued, drawn to his erect cock as if it were a lightning rod. Amethyst cried out in pain as one of the bolts struck her shoulder, molding her supple purple flesh into the shape of a hot, puffy vulva. Heedless of her indignation, Steven carried on, pronouncing each word with the careful, solemn delivery of a death sentence. The chant picked up speed, rising to a crescendo punctuated by a thousand flashes of black lightning that swirled around his body in a maelstrom of chiaroscuro madness. A smile blacker than the magic itself lit up Steven's face.

"Behold, you Tzeentchian fuckwaif! The eldritch sorcery of the Dark Lord, Dio! Manifestatio eius debent!"

Spreading his arms wide, Steven unleashed the black plasma that clung to his body in a single arcing bolt. Punching through the massive mechanical foot with ease, the obsidian ray struck Cherno Beta in the center of its semen-dripping maser cannon. Pulses of ebon energy radiated from the impact point, transmuting lifeless metal into living flesh. The hole in the machine's chest grew deeper and longer, sprouting hair and great, dangling masses of excess tissue at the edges. Its cannon grew shorter, stubbier, its end sealed off by slimy pink flesh. Before their eyes, the machine was unmistakably growing a vagina.

"You... you motherfucker! You turned my Jaegar into a roastie! Who the fuck do you think you are, making me witness this with my own ocular devices?" Peridot screeched in horror.

Steven smiled and used the Instant Transmission technique to teleport himself up to the newly summoned vagina. His already girthy penis swelled in anticipation, stretching to nearly a furlong in length and the thickness of an Indian elephant.

"All aboard the Fuck Train to Fuck Town!" he hooted, slamming his dick into the gaping pussy. Amethyst sprang off his dick at the last second and latched onto the maser cannon/clitoris, commencing a brutal yet intimate barrage with her powerful fists. The Jaegar quaked and trembled, unable to withstand the gruesome sexual violence it was undergoing. Babbling rivers of oil cascaded from its ruined hymen, soaking the two Gems with foul black vagina blood. With each thrust Steven penetrated deeper and deeper into its vulnerable circuitry, until he was slamming his veiny cock into Cherno Beta's reactor with every buck of his hips.

Peridot clawed at her face, a tingle of primal fear running down the length of her taint as she beheld the scene unfolding before her. Falling to her knees, she clasped her metallic limb extenders together and offered a prayer to her patron Chaos God.

"O Weaver of Destinies, I humbly plea that you grant me the power to stop this bullshit!"

Getting off on her distress, Steven smirked and drew his cock all the way back to his leathery scrotum, bracing himself for a final spring-loaded thrust to smash the machine's reactor into scrap metal. Amethyst continued her clitoral beatdown, smacking the ol' pussypop back and forth like a punching bag. Cherno Beta's entire frame shuddered in sexual pleasure, its robot body uneqquiped to handle the vile wankeries of cock, balls, and bitches. Circuits overloaded and programs crashed as its newborn cocktube was whipped further and further towards the inevitable climax: the first ever robot orgasm.

However, just when all hope seemed lost for the triangular xeno, a new voice rang through the air, halting Steven mid-thrust.

"Hold it-desu, you fucking yarous!"

Emerging through the mist, garbed in a cloak of writhing shadows, was the familiar form of Connie Maheswaran--but not as Steven had last seen her. Gone were the gruesome wounds inflicted on her face by Steven's acidic piss. Her bare skull was once again covered in healthy brown skin and lustrous black hair, just as it had been in life. Her face was the same as ever, as if it were a snapshot taken before her untimely demise. The only difference was in her almond-shaped eyes, which shone electric blue with the light of a wild, untamed magic.

"Connie," Steven said softly, his cock slithering out of the robo-pussy and dangling between his legs. "Is it really you?"

She nodded, beckoning him closer.

"Steven, wait! It could be a trap!" said Amethyst.

Steven hesitated, his eyes flickering between the two women. It was the opening Peridot had been waiting for. With a snicker of triumph, she mashed a red button inside Cherno Beta's cockpit, launching a fist the size of a small castle into Steven's frail, squishy body. Rocket thrusters ignited at the machine's elbow, detaching the fist and sending it hurtling towards the ground with the force of an angry god. Steven's howls of agony were abruptly cut off as the colossal weight of metal smashed him into the ground like nothing more than an annoying fly.

Peridot danced an impromptu jig. "Get fucked, Crystal Cuck! Oh, thank you my lord Tzeentch! Blessed be your name!"

Amethyst's eyes widened in horror as the towering fist's thrusters drove it deeper and deeper into the earth. Her heart thumped a frantic beat in her chest as images of Steven's surely mangled body flashed through her mind.

"This can't be happening... Steven... Steven, you've gotta be alright! Don't die on me, Steven! If you pull through, I--I'll let you put it in my nipples!"

"Get real, Clod! Nothing could've survived that!" Peridot said smugly. "Don't worry, you won't suffer long! I'll send you to join your little cuckboy in the depths of the Warp very soon!"

No sooner had the words left her tooth-filled mouth than a tremor shook the fist violently, sending cracks shooting along its length. Viscous white manjuice oozed out of every gap in the metal, corrupting and melting its way throughout the entirety of the structure. The thrusters at the back sputtered and died, their engines melted into vats of seminal fluid. Groaning, creaking, and crashing, twelve thousand tons of Homeworld steel collapsed in an avalanche of sperm and metal.

Like a phoenix from the ashes, Steven emerged from mound of rubble's center. His boyish features were caked with blood and sperm, his arms hung limp and broken at his sides, and his legs wobbled with the effort of supporting his weight. But his cock stood erect and undamaged, droplets of spooge slowly oozing along its length. His lip curled in contempt, revealing a mouthful of gnarled fangs.

"I hope you're ready for the fucking of your life, Peridot. Because I'm going to give that back to you tenfold!"

Connie stepped forward, her eyes narrowing.

"So this is what has become of you, Steven-san. I thought that we were nakama, nay, aibous. But that was before you murdered watashi! You, kisama are nothing but a twisted fuckfiend of Slaanesh-desu! Everything kisama touch will be corrupted, just like kisama! And so, in the name of Tzeentch, watashi will punish you-desu!"

Raising her hands, palms outward, Connie fired twin jets of crimson fire at Steven's nude form.

Steven whirled around in surprise, barely raising his shield in time to prevent her from roasting his nuts over an open fire.

"Connie, no! You're wrong! That was an accident! I never meant to hurt you! I was just trying to kill Lion so he wouldn't cuck me!"

"As if watashi would believe a story like that!" Connie shouted, drawing a sigil in the air and bombarding him with jagged pillars of ice.

"Please, just listen to me! I could never hurt you, Connie!" Steven said, deflecting the onslaught with rapid and precise blows from his dick.

"Then explain why kisama are having ecchi relations with Amethyst-san! How could you put your P in her V while my body had yet to fall cold? Have you no heart-desu?" Tears sprung into Connie's eyes as she bloodbent the blood out of his dick and pinned him to the ground with the force of her sorcery.

"I never meant--it just kind of happened! It had nothing to do with you!"

"He's telling the truth, Connie! We just sort of fucked in the car, we didn't mean to hurt your feelings! You gotta understand, Steven's not a bad guy! He may have a dick full of Chaos Magick, but we can trust him!" Amethyst yelled, springing down from Cherno Beta's clitoris.

"Don't defend him, Amethyst-san! He's a merciless Daemon of Slaanesh, trying to corrupt you to his cause! He murdered me so he could carry out his lewd designs on you and the rest of the Crystal Gems! Isn't that right, bakayarou?" Connie shouted, gnashing her teeth in fury.

"No! I would never! It was an accident, I swear on my rock collection!"

"I've had enough of your lies!" Stabbing a finger at Cherno Beta, Connie cried, "Use your Rocket Punch now, Peridot-san! Destroy him while I have his body pinned!"

"You got it, meatbag! I've been waiting for this!" Peridot said, gleefully slamming her palm down on the X-shaped Attack button. Cherno Beta's left hand detached, rotating like an oversized drill as it bore down on the spread-eagled Steven.

"Steven! Get hard, quick!" Amethyst yelled, scrambling to his side and sucking his wangus.

Focusing all of his power on his massive fucking dick, Steven tried to force himself erect. It was a futile effort; Connie's bloodbending had left his penis a flaccid, wrinkled slab of immobile flesh. Steven gulped. If it he couldn't get it up, that left them with only one choice.

"Amethyst! Let's fuse!"

Amethyst blushed. "R-right here? In front of everyone?"

"We don't have a choice!"

Amethyst giggled and leaned in to kiss him. "I always knew you were an exhibitionist, you naughty boy! Give me some sugar, motherfucker!"

As their lips met, light engulfed them. Their shining forms merged together, growing, shifting, and stretching. As quickly as it had appeared, the light faded, revealing a very different figure than those that had occupied the space but seconds earlier.

She stood roughly four meters tall, clad only in ripped jeans and a tigerskin bandeau stretched to breaking point around her enormous purple knockers. Her body was a rippling mass of muscles that would've made the Hulkster feel inadequate, with biceps thicker than Garnet's ass and a crown of lavender hair that stretched to her ankles in a pale, curly mass. Clasped in each of her beefy hands was a pair of nunchaku with purple dildos at the ends.

"We are Cummingtonite!" the fusion bellowed.

In one fluid motion, she slammed the dildochaku together at the hilts to create a single, waggling vibrator and chucked it at the oncoming Rocket Punch like a javelin.

Peridot's smirk of derision turned to a slack-jawed stare as the dildo cleaved through the mechanical fist effortlessly, splitting it in twain and continuing on its trajectory straight into Cherno Beta's vagina. An explosion ripped through the fleshy love hole as the dildospear split into thousands of tiny dildochaku, each one beating the fucking shit out of the puss. The robot shuddered dangerously, its vulnerable womb taking a pounding unlike anything it had experienced before.

"This can't be happening!" Peridot screamed, slamming her fist down on the "Escape Pod" button.

As the miniature ship launched from its head, Cherno Beta fell to its knees with an almighty rumble, orgasming so intensely that its metal body could not withstand the obscene pleasure waves assaulting its circuitry. Piece by piece, its trembling body broke apart into a towering heap of scrap metal, smelling faintly of ozone and semen.

Weeping tears of rage as she flew away, Peridot jabbed a mechanical finger at Cummingtonite. "You think you've won this, Crystal Cucks? You haven't! You motherfucks of fuck! I'll fucking kill you! I swear, I will personally smash your gems into powder!"

Cummingtonite snorted derisively, watching the escape pod shrink into the distance. Under any other circumstances, she would have tracked it down like a bloodhound and fucked Peridot within an inch of her life. However, within her well-endowed chest beat the fleshy heart of Steven Universe. And right now, his heart was crying out in sorrow, unable to reach the person whom had once mattered most to it.

"Connie, you gotta listen to reason! We never meant to hurt you! All Steven wanted was to protect you from the dangers of interspecies cuckolding!"

"A likely story!" Connie snapped, cupping her hands at her side and chanting an incantation in a voice like tectonic plates smashing together. Her lips curved into a smile as she closed her eyes, focusing all her willpower on controlling the eldritch forces coursing through her veins.

"Darkness beyond twilight, crimson beyond blood that flows, buried in the flow of time is where your power grows. I pledge myself to conquer all the foes who stand in front of this mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand. Let the fools who stand before us be destroyed by the power you and I possess. Come forth, Def Leppard!"

A pitch-black cloud of darkness billowed forth from betwixt her cupped hands, condensing into the shape of a roaring dragon's head as it hurtled towards Cummingtonite.

With a snap of her fingers, the fusion summoned more dildo nunchaku, raising them just in time to deflect the dragon's charge. Snarling, the shadow beast twisted its serpentine body around for a second strike. Cummingtonite stepped to the side, slashing its head in half with a well timed swing. Raising the dildo nunchaku to her lips, she licked off the dragon's black ichor with relish.

Connie grimaced. "You are indeed powerful, Cummingtonite. I see that such pitiful spells are no match for kisama no power. Very well! We'll settle this in one blow! I call upon watashi, the Tzeentchian blade of Erection's Bane! Manifest before me, Blueballer!"

With a thunderous snap, a flickering, translucent blade of ethereal magic appeared in her right hands. Plants wilted in its presence, their anthers surgically severed. Insects fell from the sky, wriggling in agony at the loss of their internal members. A raucous cacophony of fucklings and imps arose in the distance, their sex organs melted into puddles of flesh by the sword's Daemonic aura. Even Cummingtonite was forced to take a step back before its brutal asexual ferocity, her nipples tingling dangerously.

"Now then, Steven-san! We will decide who is just with a single strike! O Changer of Ways, grant me the power to complete the mission you bestowed upon me! Let me strike down Steven Universe-desu!"

Cummingtonite twirled her dildo nunchaku grimly. "Alright, fucko. Let's get dangerous."

Connie gripped the hilt of her blade with both hands, her eyes flashing with sorcerous fury. Her body naturally assumed the pose of a samurai warrior, ready to strike. For the briefest of moments, the two stared each other down, each waiting for some flicker of weakness in her opponent.

In the distance, a fuckling howled in sorrow, his dicklessness having resulted in both the loss of his job and the love of his wife.

As if they'd been waiting in unspoken agreement for their cue, the two lunged at each other, their weapons clashing in a battle of sparks and sorcery. Then it was over.

Connie chuckled, watching Cummingtonite's dildochaku disintegrate into ashes. "It seems I am the victor, Steven-san."

"Don't be so sure," Cummingtonite replied, pointing at Connie's vagina.

Connie looked down at her vagina to find roughly 42 sets of nunchaku protruding from her virginal pussy. "Fuck-desu," she said, achieving orgasm.

The cloak of shadows enveloping her body evaporated as the vicious climax rocked her world mentally, physically, and spiritually. Her legs gave way beneath her and she fell facedown in the dust at Cummingtonite's feet, groaning in mystical dildo pleasure.

"Steven... Universe," she gasped, sweat pouring from her nude body as she was dildofucked into oblivion. "Please, let me talk to Steven one last time."

Cummingtonite nodded, defusing with a quiet pop. Completely naked and incredibly hard, Steven stepped forward and clasped Connie's hands in his own.

"I'm here, shoogums."

Connie smiled. "It was... good to hear your voice again, Steven-kun. I wish... we could have spent more time together."

Steven sniffled, trying desperately to hold back tears and ejaculation. "Don't try to talk, Connie! It's gonna be alright!"

She shook her head slowly. "Watashi wa but a Shade, a specter given power and the semblance of my mortal form by Tzeentch. Since watashi failed my mission, the life Tzeentch gave me is fading away."

Steven choked back a sob, squeezing her hands tightly and bending his dick at a 90 degree angle to prevent himself from blowing a load right there. "Please, Connie, don't go! You've always... you've always been my ho!"

"Steven-kun... kimi must promise me... no matter what, kimi will always use your powers for the sake of justice. You're the only one who can save this world from the fate that awaits it... the fate of Chaos Absolute..."

Steven pinched her nipples reassuringly. "I will! No matter what, I'll protect this world!"

Closing her eyes, Connie whispered, "Aishiteru... Steven-kun."

Steven ran his fingers along the crack of her ass, weeping the bold tears of a man who values booty and love equally. "Aishiteru, Connie-chan."

Cradling her in his arms and stroking her bum for good measure, Steven closed his eyes and planted a tender kiss on her pliant lips. As the star-crossed lovers shared a final farewell to a love not meant to be, Steven felt her body grow cold in his arms, transmuting into an intangible mass of ectoplasm before fading away entirely. Sobbing, Steven finally allowed himself to ejaculate, spilling his seed on the ground as a final tribute to his very best friend.

Amethyst put a hand on his shoulder. "You gonna be ok, big guy?"

Steven climbed to his feet. "I'll be alright," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "Let's go home, Amethyst. I need some weed and a fucking blowjob."

"You got it, Stevie boy," she said, taking his hand and leading him towards the sunset.


End file.
